(no subject)

so i  finally told my boyfriend what was going on and i told hi about my ED . i was suprised that he was  ok with it and that he was supportive and wouldnt bother me when MIA came out....but it made me want to fucking ball my eyes out when he said that it wasnt a problem until i got too thin like 100 lbs or so i cant believe that....its not how much you weigh that makes you have a n ED ya im more than 100 lbs so that means its ok ....he just doesent understand its like so when im skinny enough thats when its time to stop??? wtf is that its not like its a choice!!! i hate myself right now i feel like dying! its like noone understands i tell him ive been bulimic for over 2 years and he tells me im good at hiding it and that its ok to do until i get to a weight thats good enough to be hott and the n i can stop! NOONE GETS IT!!! i just want to crawl into a hole and never come out!!!
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed

(no subject)

i  am feeling pretty sad today :( ...i think i just realized that me and my boyfriend arent going to work and its 9/11 which kinda means alot to me just getting out of the military and all but i guess the only upside is that this depression is making me less hungry....i had 2 bites of a veggie wrap and i think thats all im going to have for today i should go workout to keep my mind of things it always helps me to clear my head...

stay strong...xoxo

  • Current Music
    pink floyd

(no subject)

im pretty new to this site but its nice to find an online support group i just moved across the country and have no friends really...its just me and my boyfriend when i found this site i was excited he doesent know about my ed my bestfriend is the only one who knows and she is 3000 miles away. anyways i thought id write my first entry its been kind of a shitty day...
  i just realized my scale is broken! im soooo bummed that means that im really 3 more lbs than i thought i was and my boyfriend brought me a sandwhich for lunch and i felt bad so i ate it but when he left i purged i felt to guilty.. im not eating for the rest of the day and i am def fasting tomorrow! ive been taking hoodia and they seem to work in the beggining but im starting to think its a mind thing....does anyone know of a good diet pill ive tried a few already and i think they are crap. any advise?



-amber

  • Current Mood
    blah blah